today is a good day, because one of the personal essays i've written in my ucla extension classes got published. it's this week's guest column on a site called mad as hell club, an apt venue for me for sure.
please check it out at here.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
support our athletes
yesterday's olympic torch protests in paris got me thinking. there is a supposed line that separates the olympic games from politics; however, that line has been fairly consistently blurred. there are those that believe that the spirit of the games should transcend geopolitical divides, and others who believe they can't.
it reminded me that during and after vietnam, people who opposed the war were known to yell at, spit at, and harrass soldiers. sometime after that, a movement emerged to separate the troops fighting in wars from the wars they were actually fighting. "support our troops" bedecked banners, bumper stickers, and lapel pins.
i wonder if a similar movement will start to emerge, one that is equally open to interpretation and could be used as a similar diversion from the issue at hand. will "support our athletes" become the rallying cry of those who wish to turn a blind eye to human rights abuses, choosing to drape themselves in the olympic flag?
but then i thought about the protesters themselves. if they are truly opposed to beijing's politics vis-à-vis tibet, human rights, or free speech, wouldn't a more effective protest be against anything manufactured or processed in china? of course, in this flat world, such separation is nearly impossible. nonetheless, that might be a rallying cry that china's government is actually forced to pay attention to.
it reminded me that during and after vietnam, people who opposed the war were known to yell at, spit at, and harrass soldiers. sometime after that, a movement emerged to separate the troops fighting in wars from the wars they were actually fighting. "support our troops" bedecked banners, bumper stickers, and lapel pins.
i wonder if a similar movement will start to emerge, one that is equally open to interpretation and could be used as a similar diversion from the issue at hand. will "support our athletes" become the rallying cry of those who wish to turn a blind eye to human rights abuses, choosing to drape themselves in the olympic flag?
but then i thought about the protesters themselves. if they are truly opposed to beijing's politics vis-à-vis tibet, human rights, or free speech, wouldn't a more effective protest be against anything manufactured or processed in china? of course, in this flat world, such separation is nearly impossible. nonetheless, that might be a rallying cry that china's government is actually forced to pay attention to.
Monday, April 7, 2008
this is a skill.
getting 7 E's is probably a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, so i figured it merited online immortality. 
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
losing sleep
insomnia has been a mainstay in my life since my very young childhood. but over the past few years, the problem has virtually gone away. sure, there have been sporadic sleepless nights here and there, but the reasons were always evident and understandable.
the past couple nights, however, i've been losing sleep for increasingly stupid reasons. and it makes me mad. it makes me mad because i'm about to hop into bed, and i know it's just going to piss me off.
so what's keeping me up? let's examine:
1. it is fucking cold in my room. i sleep directly under a window, which perhaps was not the brightest placement for a bed. however, i fucking live in california. why is this a problem?
2. my dog likes to nestle. which is so freaking cute. but while he's getting close to me, he also has a tendency to get me to scoot over... until i'm sleeping on like an inch of the bed. not usually a problem, except i think he's cold too... therefore, he's REALLY nestling and pushing in for heat.
3. my roommates and i are all worried that we're about to get kicked out. we have a "structural and appliance assessment" coming up on saturday, because we believe the landlord is looking to sell. super. awesome. higher rent or moving... both GREAT options.
4. i have way too much on my mind. and it seems like this week, it just keeps piling on. the thing is, with the exception of the whole apartment thing, it's mostly good stuff. but it's still overwhelming as hell. i'm juggling my job, my class, my next steps, my diet, and my travel plans... and now i'm getting all riled up because i'm sure i'm forgetting something. in other words, i'm a fucking basketcase.
5. 8:00 comes really early. really, really early.
the past couple nights, however, i've been losing sleep for increasingly stupid reasons. and it makes me mad. it makes me mad because i'm about to hop into bed, and i know it's just going to piss me off.
so what's keeping me up? let's examine:
1. it is fucking cold in my room. i sleep directly under a window, which perhaps was not the brightest placement for a bed. however, i fucking live in california. why is this a problem?
2. my dog likes to nestle. which is so freaking cute. but while he's getting close to me, he also has a tendency to get me to scoot over... until i'm sleeping on like an inch of the bed. not usually a problem, except i think he's cold too... therefore, he's REALLY nestling and pushing in for heat.
3. my roommates and i are all worried that we're about to get kicked out. we have a "structural and appliance assessment" coming up on saturday, because we believe the landlord is looking to sell. super. awesome. higher rent or moving... both GREAT options.
4. i have way too much on my mind. and it seems like this week, it just keeps piling on. the thing is, with the exception of the whole apartment thing, it's mostly good stuff. but it's still overwhelming as hell. i'm juggling my job, my class, my next steps, my diet, and my travel plans... and now i'm getting all riled up because i'm sure i'm forgetting something. in other words, i'm a fucking basketcase.
5. 8:00 comes really early. really, really early.
Monday, January 28, 2008
kk recommends.
"IT'S ALMOST FEBRUARY" EDITION
1. BEN + JERRY'S CINNAMON BUNS ICE CREAM
i'm not sure i can make it sound any more amazing than that. but it is very, VERY good. esp. if you're the kind of person that likes cookie dough, except it's friggin CINNAMON BUN DOUGH. incredible.
2. AMERICAN GLADIATORS
there's no guilt in this pleasure. it is seriously entertaining. i'm still mad that we didn't make it to the taping, but i almost feel like it's better on tv, and even better than THAT if you can dvr it and skip all the ads.
3. GORDON RAMSAY'S F WORD
it's on bbc america. parts of it are shot really beautifully, and gordon is quite the sustainable nut, which i like. he has started a campaign to "get women back in the kitchen," not in a derogatory way, but because he's noticed that this generation never really learned how to cook, and the majority of those who didn't regret that they didn't. so he's adapted his recipes to things you can make at home. and he does side stories about raising pigs and turkeys that are really interesting.
4. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
also on bbc america. this woman named jillian finds the most disgusting people in britain and makes them face their awful diets. then she transforms what they eat for 8 weeks, basically turning them into vegetarians. it's actually very interesting the things you learn.
5. SCRABULOUS
a little belated, but i can't get enough. hop on the band wagon before the real scrabble shuts it down. even better against your facebook friends, but the robot is a hell of a competitor.
6. CANVAS GROCERY BAGS
not to sound like an eco-nut, but these things are actually great for practical reasons, too. they hold a SHITLOAD, and you're not stuck with a million plastic bags when you get home that just end up as clutter. and i actually enjoy shopping with my bag rather than a grocery basket, because i can just sling it over my shoulder, rather than weighing down my hands. great for so many reasons.
7. ATONEMENT
my favorite movie in a very long time. and i'm not just saying that because of all the hype; in fact, when i went to see it, i knew nothing about the story. it is heart-wrenching, but in a great way. it is beautiful and well edited, as i went with my friend's book club and they talked about how the book was a little hard to get through. i may still attempt to read it, but... i say that about everything:)
1. BEN + JERRY'S CINNAMON BUNS ICE CREAM
i'm not sure i can make it sound any more amazing than that. but it is very, VERY good. esp. if you're the kind of person that likes cookie dough, except it's friggin CINNAMON BUN DOUGH. incredible.
2. AMERICAN GLADIATORS
there's no guilt in this pleasure. it is seriously entertaining. i'm still mad that we didn't make it to the taping, but i almost feel like it's better on tv, and even better than THAT if you can dvr it and skip all the ads.
3. GORDON RAMSAY'S F WORD
it's on bbc america. parts of it are shot really beautifully, and gordon is quite the sustainable nut, which i like. he has started a campaign to "get women back in the kitchen," not in a derogatory way, but because he's noticed that this generation never really learned how to cook, and the majority of those who didn't regret that they didn't. so he's adapted his recipes to things you can make at home. and he does side stories about raising pigs and turkeys that are really interesting.
4. YOU ARE WHAT YOU EAT
also on bbc america. this woman named jillian finds the most disgusting people in britain and makes them face their awful diets. then she transforms what they eat for 8 weeks, basically turning them into vegetarians. it's actually very interesting the things you learn.
5. SCRABULOUS
a little belated, but i can't get enough. hop on the band wagon before the real scrabble shuts it down. even better against your facebook friends, but the robot is a hell of a competitor.
6. CANVAS GROCERY BAGS
not to sound like an eco-nut, but these things are actually great for practical reasons, too. they hold a SHITLOAD, and you're not stuck with a million plastic bags when you get home that just end up as clutter. and i actually enjoy shopping with my bag rather than a grocery basket, because i can just sling it over my shoulder, rather than weighing down my hands. great for so many reasons.
7. ATONEMENT
my favorite movie in a very long time. and i'm not just saying that because of all the hype; in fact, when i went to see it, i knew nothing about the story. it is heart-wrenching, but in a great way. it is beautiful and well edited, as i went with my friend's book club and they talked about how the book was a little hard to get through. i may still attempt to read it, but... i say that about everything:)
Monday, January 21, 2008
i've been saying this for a while...
but i think white people should have to work martin luther king day. i'm pretty peeved that i have to. i'm two kinds of minority, dammit!
but seriously, if white people had to work today, they'd either a) build an appreciation for what the world would be like without the contributions of minorities, or b) grow in resentment for what they feel is a world turned against them.
i am ok with either.
but seriously, if white people had to work today, they'd either a) build an appreciation for what the world would be like without the contributions of minorities, or b) grow in resentment for what they feel is a world turned against them.
i am ok with either.
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
write soon...
i wish people still wrote letters. i just finished going through a bag my mom kept from the house. in it i had letters from fourth grade all the way up until my freshman year of college. first off, i had a lot of friends! damn!
but before the advent of email, we all wrote letters to each other. how wonderful. some of the later cards and letters allude to the start of email, but the time capsules that are a lot more interesting include the mention of tapes, new kids on the block, and how much we hated christie young in the fourth grade.
it's so funny to see what we worried about as time went on. in 4th grade we got excited that the newest installment of the babysitters club was about to come out. in junior high we laughed about our gym teacher, mr. jones. and in high school we stressed about AP tests and whether our scores would get us into the colleges we hoped for.
it's funny too, the personality cues you can pick up from your past. i remember myself as an incredibly happy child, someone practically oblivious to the problems going on in my own home, and without a care in the world. but, perhaps unsurprisingly, i was quite a snob, even back in the day. i had a penchant for gossip, enjoyed shared hatred, and found inclusion in groups by excluding others. i guess i didn't really forget that part, but it's funny to see it expressed outright.
jackie's letters were probably the best, but that's also probably because we're still friends. she sent one letter that was partially indecipherable because it was written in pencil almost 20 years ago. but apparently we started something called the "call me club" and she mailed me my membership card. from the letter, i can't quite understand what we did, except she felt it necessary we have an advertisement [ which she also included ] and that certain dorks like karyl goldstein couldn't be a part of it. hahahahaha
i'm going to have to scan some of these gems in. that, and some of the old worksheets and writings i found. they are precious! my ode to money and my "sometimes i like you" card are unbeatable. that will most definitely be my next blog.
it has been so fun to travel down memory lane. it pains me to throw some of these cards and letters out. but what am i going to do with them? put them in a closet for another ten years?? i'm keeping a few select ones and parting with the rest. i'm keeping all of the letters megan moskwa sent me, but haven't gone through them all. they're just funny because she was such a spaz. i wonder if she ever calmed down at all. megan and i wrote letters to each other most often though, because after 8th grade, she moved to illinois. so after that, our entire friendship took place in letters. i'm interested to see what i find in there, but, as i mentioned, she's a spaz, so her letters are long winded and it's far too late to delve into illinois high school drama at the moment. maybe on the plane:)
i know that we have emails and they probably are much better for archiving, but there's something so charming about a stack of letters. they feel more intimate, they have more personality. the fact that we used to decorate them with stickers and doodles really show how much thought we put into each one. we'd tell people where we were at the moment [ bored in physics class, at governor's school, at grandma's house in wisconsin ], we'd answer questions that were asked in previous letters, we'd get lost in stream of consciousness, and we'd say things that we probably never would in person, or even in email. i'm kind of pleasantly surprised at how many times people told me how great a friend i was, how funny i was, or how much they missed me. sure, i barely remember some of those people now. but it still makes me feel like i must be pretty all right.
as the new year approaches, i'm definitely resolving to lose weight, eat better, and all the usual stuff. but i think i'm also gong to make a concerted effort to write more letters. i hope those i write to will resolve to do the same :)
but before the advent of email, we all wrote letters to each other. how wonderful. some of the later cards and letters allude to the start of email, but the time capsules that are a lot more interesting include the mention of tapes, new kids on the block, and how much we hated christie young in the fourth grade.
it's so funny to see what we worried about as time went on. in 4th grade we got excited that the newest installment of the babysitters club was about to come out. in junior high we laughed about our gym teacher, mr. jones. and in high school we stressed about AP tests and whether our scores would get us into the colleges we hoped for.
it's funny too, the personality cues you can pick up from your past. i remember myself as an incredibly happy child, someone practically oblivious to the problems going on in my own home, and without a care in the world. but, perhaps unsurprisingly, i was quite a snob, even back in the day. i had a penchant for gossip, enjoyed shared hatred, and found inclusion in groups by excluding others. i guess i didn't really forget that part, but it's funny to see it expressed outright.
jackie's letters were probably the best, but that's also probably because we're still friends. she sent one letter that was partially indecipherable because it was written in pencil almost 20 years ago. but apparently we started something called the "call me club" and she mailed me my membership card. from the letter, i can't quite understand what we did, except she felt it necessary we have an advertisement [ which she also included ] and that certain dorks like karyl goldstein couldn't be a part of it. hahahahaha
i'm going to have to scan some of these gems in. that, and some of the old worksheets and writings i found. they are precious! my ode to money and my "sometimes i like you" card are unbeatable. that will most definitely be my next blog.
it has been so fun to travel down memory lane. it pains me to throw some of these cards and letters out. but what am i going to do with them? put them in a closet for another ten years?? i'm keeping a few select ones and parting with the rest. i'm keeping all of the letters megan moskwa sent me, but haven't gone through them all. they're just funny because she was such a spaz. i wonder if she ever calmed down at all. megan and i wrote letters to each other most often though, because after 8th grade, she moved to illinois. so after that, our entire friendship took place in letters. i'm interested to see what i find in there, but, as i mentioned, she's a spaz, so her letters are long winded and it's far too late to delve into illinois high school drama at the moment. maybe on the plane:)
i know that we have emails and they probably are much better for archiving, but there's something so charming about a stack of letters. they feel more intimate, they have more personality. the fact that we used to decorate them with stickers and doodles really show how much thought we put into each one. we'd tell people where we were at the moment [ bored in physics class, at governor's school, at grandma's house in wisconsin ], we'd answer questions that were asked in previous letters, we'd get lost in stream of consciousness, and we'd say things that we probably never would in person, or even in email. i'm kind of pleasantly surprised at how many times people told me how great a friend i was, how funny i was, or how much they missed me. sure, i barely remember some of those people now. but it still makes me feel like i must be pretty all right.
as the new year approaches, i'm definitely resolving to lose weight, eat better, and all the usual stuff. but i think i'm also gong to make a concerted effort to write more letters. i hope those i write to will resolve to do the same :)
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